What am i thinking right now.

Hi guys, i will now tell you what i am going to feel right now.

The window is open, i am living in the 13th floor. I went to the kitchen and look down the window. The views great. 12 levels till the ground. Great height. I took a deep breath. And put my leg on the ledge of the window. I sat there, looking at the opposite block. And also looked down the 12 floors down. I thought to myself. Should i? Its at night and no one can see. The kitchen light is also off so i am camouflaged. I thought and thought and thought. Half of me wanted to go back inside. The other half wanted me to end it all. As i was looking outside, i hallucinated a white figure asking me to jump. My friend texted me saying not to jump. I looked out of the window for another 10 minutes. And suddenly everything turned dark. Next thing i was on the floor. Bleeding from head to toe. I was smiling. Then i woke up, still at the window ledge, thinking to myself: " Yes or No?". Then suddenly my friend grabbed me from behind and drop me on the kitchen floor and punched me. Asking me to snap out of it.... I am still thinking, Should i jump or not?

I really need someone. Someone to snap it out of it and to end it all.