Idk what to say

Sigh. These few days, I have not been feeling well. I have no idea why. Sometimes i am just all moody and i will go around emoing for countless hours. I avoided a lot of people when i am emo. I thought to myself, maybe i should text her. Who knows maybe she could make me smile. Which she does last time. But. NO. I didnt smile. I couldn't even forge a fake smile. Whats wrong with me? I really have no idea. I am fine on the outside, but i am all empty with no feelings at all inside. I couldn't bring myself to smile. I watched funny videos and tried to make myself smile. Even that i couldn't even smile a single bit. What is this? I really don't hurt those around me when i am all emotional. That's why they see me as happy. Sigh... SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME SMILE! I want to be able to smile like last time. Not like now, all sad and emotional. Even typing this with no hope of someone would be reading this is painful. But at least i get to share how i feel inside of me. To the someone who read this blog post of mine, Hate me. So that i would feel more bad for myself. I am just another useless person in this world. KILL ME AND END MY LIFE QUICKLY.