Something about love

What is love? I don't know actually. I have never tasted or felt love before. To me being loved is absolute heaven. So far in my whole 17+ years i have been in this earth, i have never been loved before. Not even once. Not even people close to me. Sigh. I really want to know how is it to feel loved. You asked if i have been in a relationship before. The answer is Nope. I have never been in a relationships before. I cant seem to be in a relationship. I tried so hard to be into one but  i would end up being rejected. I dont know why is it that people are able to get into a relationship easily.  I just dont understand. I have given up trying to be into relationship. It only hurts me more and more. I am not desperate or anything. But i only want to have a taste of what is it like to be in a relationships. Sigh. I dont know if i should give myself 1 more chance. I dont know... Someone please help me.. :(

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I cant believe it..

Sigh. What is April to me? Well its fucking hell! I cant tell where to start? its just that everything i do is not even correct. I am often left out, being used countless times, being backstabbed, betrayed and being hurt. I know some people would often see me as a gangster and all but seriously, I am not a freaking gangster! You understand? Sigh... First being used. I know that i am kind and all but dont take my kindness for granted. You used me for your own selfish needs! You lied to me. Used me. Made me believe in you. But all these for? All this so that you could get what you wanted! Here is 1 word for you! FUCK YOU! I would never trust you again. In fact i am not going to remember you at all! 2ndly being backstabbed. I have been backstabbed by my friends. Why would you spread that i am a lier, someone who use people. I dont use people for my own selfish needs! You my used-to-be-bro why would you do something like that? I trusted you! Sigh.. :'(  Lastly, being hurt. Yes i was hurt. Badly. To the extent that i almost cut myself. Sigh what is happening of me? I dont know... :( i just wish that this may, it would be better..

-InNeedOfThatSpecialSomeone
♥RaufNikoLoli♥

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